


you make me forget so very much

by heydoeydoey



Category: This Is Us (TV)
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bulimia, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Getting Together, Kevin's love language is definitely food, Pregnancy, See Notes for more details, Slice of Life, or like acts of service revolving around food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24903322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heydoeydoey/pseuds/heydoeydoey
Summary: The problem is, Kevin wants a Great Love Story and Madison doesn’t believe in those.
Relationships: Kevin Pearson/Madison Simons
Comments: 14
Kudos: 82





	you make me forget so very much

**Author's Note:**

> So, apparently when you're in lockdown alone for going-on-five-months now, it's totally reasonable to become mildly obsessed with this show. We don't need to talk about how many times I've watched it start to finish.
> 
> Some things to note: I've thrown the timeline out the window, sorry not sorry. Consider us AU after Madison breaks the news and let's not worry about any of the flash-forwards we've seen. Kevin's addictions and Madison's eating disorder get mentioned but we're approaching it from the standpoint that they're both in a good place, recovery-wise. I'm sure there are plenty of writers out there doing a great job with those topics, but for a lot of reasons I'm not the person to write in detail about those things right now, so this fic is not that. It's basically what it says on the tin because I needed something fun to do while things in my Real Life got very intense.

“I’ve been doing the math.” Kevin says, as soon as Madison answers the phone. She told him a week ago, and has been trying not to read too much into the fact that she hasn’t heard from him since. He says he’s all in, and Madison wants to believe him, wants to give him the benefit of the doubt, wants to hope that he isn’t going to change his mind six months or eighteen months or three years down the line, when he meets the love of his life. He seems genuine, but that’s the trouble with actors. They’re always going to be better at hiding when they’re lying.

“Good morning, Kevin,” she yawns. It’s not even eight yet, and Madison is still in pajamas, standing in her kitchen, waiting for the coffeemaker to finish brewing so she can have the single cup she’s allowed per day.

“Yeah, sorry,” he says. “Do you know how much twins are going to cost? There’s two cribs and two carseats and one of those double stroller things and all their clothes and toys and that’s not even getting into school tuitions and, Jesus, how expensive is college going to be in eighteen years?”

Madison does indeed know how much twins are going to cost. She did the math herself, trying to determine if she could do it without Kevin’s help. (Just about, but she hadn’t even tried to factor in college.)

“Four cribs,” she says.

“What?”

“Four cribs. Two at your house, two at mine.”

“Oh shit,” he says. “I didn’t think about that. Four cribs...so four car seats too, probably, and _two_ strollers and two changing tables and—

“Kevin,” Madison interrupts, “do you want to come over? I’m about to make breakfast.”

“Oh. Okay.”

He looks tired when he gets there, and she wonders if he’s been up all night obsessing about cribs and college tuition. She doesn’t think it’s about the money, not really. She’s pretty sure royalties from _The Manny_ alone could cover all of it and then some. It’s just a concrete thing to focus on, to make it real. She did the same thing, pricing cribs in Target and studying car seat safety ratings. 

She makes scrambled eggs and toast and bacon, because she’s been craving salt for days, and douses her whole plate in hot sauce even though it’s definitely going to give her heartburn. She never even _liked_ hot sauce before, but last night she seriously considered putting it on ice cream.

(The only thing that stopped her was not having ice cream in the house and being too tired to go to the store.)

They sit at her little kitchen table and Kevin says, “Four highchairs.”

“Yeah, but not right away.”

“We should open a joint bank account.”

She’s tempted to laugh, because she’s pretty sure Kevin has never thought about joint checking in his entire life, let alone said it. 

“I’ll call the credit card company and get you a card on my account, too—

“Kevin, I _have_ a credit card. Two, actually. And a job. I own this house and do my own taxes. I’m not looking to be some kind of...kept woman.”

He flinches. “Sorry. That’s not...we’re in this together, I just want to make sure you have what you need.”

“I appreciate that,” she says, and he relaxes back into his chair, the tension easing out of his shoulders. “I do think a joint account is a good idea, as long as we’re both contributing.”

“Yeah?” He smiles, and goes to get a second helping of eggs from the frying pan. 

“And if you’re that worried about college, we could open 529 accounts, once they’re born.” He shoots her a confused look. “They’re college savings accounts. I work in finance.”

A sheepish expression crosses his face. “Sorry. I feel like I should’ve known that.”

“You do now. We can’t all be movie stars and cologne models,” she laughs.

Kevin groans. “I’m never going to live that ad down, am I?”

“Nope,” Madison says cheerfully. “I’m going to frame a copy of it for the nursery.”

“Better make it two copies.”

* * *

_I have my next doctor’s appointment Wednesday_ , she texts him the next week. _If you want to come. No pressure._

His reply is almost immediate: _I’ll be there_. 

* * *

Dr. Mason is too nice to be smug, but he shoots Madison a knowing look when he comes into the room and sees Kevin sitting in the chair next to the exam table. Then, he does a double-take. He doesn’t say anything, he’s too much of a professional for that, and Madison hurries to make introductions and bridge any awkwardness.

“Dr. Mason, this is Kevin. The father.”

Kevin stands to shake the OB-GYN’s hand. “And also The Manny,” he says. 

Madison groans. “How long have you been working on that one?”

Kevin snorts and Dr. Mason laughs. He opens Madison’s file and looks over the vitals the nurse took when she arrived. 

“Everything’s still looking good. How’ve you been feeling?”

“I think I’m through the worst of the morning sickness. I haven’t thrown up at work for about a week now. I’m not as tired, either.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Dr. Mason grins. “The second trimester is usually the easiest. Should we see how things are going? If we’ve got cooperative babies today, we might be able to find out genders, if you want to know.”

Madison glances at Kevin. 

“Up to you,” he says. 

“Yeah,” Madison says. “Let’s.”

She finds herself watching Kevin instead of the monitor. 

“Here’s Baby A,” Dr. Mason says, and Kevin’s eyes go soft and wet looking at the screen. Madison feels a lump forming in her throat. “Looks like...a girl.”

“A girl?” Kevin repeats, and clears his throat. 

“And Baby B,” Dr. Mason moves the wand, searching. “Here we go. Well, he’s a little smaller than his sister, but nothing to worry about right now.”

“A boy,” Madison grins. “Two sets of clothes, Kevin.”

“Four,” he corrects. “Your house, my house.” 

“Right,” she says. “Of course.”

Dr. Mason raises an eyebrow at her, an _I told you so_ if she’s ever seen one. 

* * *

_I would murder someone for an EggMcMuffin right now_ , she texts Kevin the Saturday morning after their appointment with Dr. Mason. She can pretend it’s totally innocent all she wants, but she knows exactly what she’s doing.

He shows up on her doorstep forty-five minutes later with two bags from McDonald’s in hand. 

“Don’t tell my trainer,” he says, pulling two hash browns and a McGriddle from his bag.

There are twelve packets of hot sauce in her bag with the Egg McMuffin. She doesn’t have the heart to tell him she’s back to hating hot sauce. 

“You don’t tell Dr. Mason, I won’t tell your trainer.”

“Deal.”

They eat in surprisingly comfortable silence, and Kevin pretends he doesn’t notice her stealing his second hash brown. 

“I haven’t eaten McDonald’s in ten years,” he groans, leaning back in his seat.

“Me either,” Madison says. It’s hard to admit, because as soon as she does she’s thinking about the empty calories, and the easiest way to get rid of them. “I, uh...I was bulimic for years. Like...a decade, actually. That’s how Kate and I met. Toby, too. A support group. That’s why it’s basically a miracle I got pregnant.”

“Oh,” Kevin says softly. “How are you doing now?”

She blinks, surprised. It’s not the question she expects, but it feels like the right one.

“I’ve been really good for a couple years. Pregnancy is bringing some of it all up again, but I was kind of expecting that. I have a good therapist, we’re taking it one day at a time. The end goal of healthy twins is a pretty solid motivator.”

“Yeah,” Kevin says. “I know. The day you told me, I’d been sober a year. That was an intense day, even before you came over. The kind of day where I might’ve gone for a drink. But my dad was an alcoholic, and my uncle is an alcoholic, and my grandfather was, and that’s not the life I want for our kids.”

Madison thinks of him, drunk and belligerent in the hospital waiting room the day Jack was born. That’s not what she wants for them either. 

“How are you doing now?” she asks, figuring it’s only fair to return the favor.

He smiles. “Pretty good. I go to meetings, I talk to Nicky. We’re taking it one day at a time.”

* * *

It becomes A Thing, after that. Saturday mornings are their time, a weekly ritual in Madison’s kitchen. She learns how Kevin likes his coffee (milk, no sugar), he figures out where she keeps the silverware. He’s good at doing dishes and terrible at closing cupboard doors. She quickly discovers not to ask him to pick up anything from the grocery store on the way; it always delays him by at least an hour because he doesn’t know how to shop efficiently. 

He brings a baby name book one morning, and they spend an hour taking turns finding the worst names they can and trying to make a case for them. Damien. Eunice. Algernon. Bertha. Wolfgang. Maude.

“Persimmon Pearson has a great ring to it.”

“Persimmon _Simons-_ Pearson,” Madison insists, “sounds incredibly stupid. That’s just a fruit salad of repetitive sounds.”

Kevin almost snorts coffee out of his nose, and Madison laughs.

“Maybe they need matchy names.” 

“Of course you like matchy names,” Madison shakes her head. “Why didn’t Randall get a matchy K name?”

Kevin’s face falls a bit at the mention of Randall’s name. Madison never asked about the fight she walked in on, and the only thing Kate has said about it is that things have been tense since their mom’s diagnosis. Madison figures it’s not really her business, anyway. 

“We were triplets, originally. I mean, we’re triplets now, but before they adopted Randall, there was Kyle. He was stillborn. That happens sometimes with multiples, I guess.”

Madison nods. “Yeah.” It’s one of the worries that’s started to creep in, the more she reads and prepares. 

“They tried to name Randall Kyle but it felt wrong. So they gave him his own name.”

“Makes sense.” Madison nods. “I’m gonna veto matchy names, though.”

“Are you sure?” Kevin grins. “Tristan and Kristen sound _great_.”

“Hard pass,” Madison laughs.

* * *

“Why are there so many options?” Kevin frowns at the aisle of strollers. The store had looked manageable from the outside, and Kate had recommended it as the place she got a lot of stuff for Jack, but inside it’s just a sea of cribs and changing tables and strollers and bouncy chairs and car seats and dressers. It’s overwhelming, even with the list of things they need on her phone. 

“Maybe we should’ve let Kate plan a shower.” Madison says. She’d refused when Kate couldn’t think of more than two people to invite (Beth and Rebecca, neither of whom is flying across the country for a baby shower for the girl Kevin accidentally knocked up) but having other people choose some of this stuff for them is now looking better and better.

“Why is this stroller _two thousand dollars_? This one is two hundred! They look exactly the same.”

As soon as Kevin says this, a store employee pops up next to them. “Shopping for strollers today?”

“For everything,” Kevin says, and Madison winces. She can practically see the commission dollar signs flashing in this guy’s eyes. “We’re having twins.”

“Congratulations!” the sales associate coos. His name tag says _Liam, Assistant Manager_. So far he hasn’t indicated that he recognizes Kevin, so either he’s pretending he doesn’t or he hasn’t yet. 

“Most parents of twins really like the Bugaboo,” Liam says, pointing to the two thousand dollar stroller. “They can be side by side, but it’s still going to fit through standard doorways, it will grow with them from bassinets to seats—

“That’s very important for Penelope and Percival.” Kevin says, winking at her.

“Great names,” Liam says enthusiastically, and Madison turns a laugh into a cough. 

“You know, Liam, I think we need a little more time to browse,” Kevin says. 

“All right,” Liam says, his face falling a bit. “Well, just shout if you have questions.”

“You know, I actually don’t hate Penelope.” Madison says, when he’s out of earshot. 

“Let’s add it to the list.”

“You have a list?” Madison asks, surprised. 

“Oh. Uh, yeah. I just thought…we know what we don’t like. It might help if we started keeping track of the ones we do.”

He hands her his phone. She scrolls through: Paige, Ryan, Natalie, Owen, Charlotte, Evan—

“Ooh, I have to veto Evan,” she says. “My high school boyfriend. He dumped me the week before prom.”

“Oof. Valid veto,” Kevin says. Madison deletes it and adds Penelope. 

“Although we probably can’t use Penelope if Liam over there calls up Us Weekly and tells them Kevin Pearson is naming his kids Percival and Penelope.”

“He wouldn’t,” Kevin says. “Not after I drop four thousand dollars on strollers.”

“Kevin, we aren’t getting the Ferrari of strollers! Let alone _two_ of them.”

“Think of Penny and Percy! Don’t they _deserve_ the Ferrari of strollers?”

“No,” Madison laughs, ready to argue. Instead, she gasps, surprised, and presses a hand to her belly. 

“What, what’s happening?” 

“One of them is kicking,” she says, and grabs Kevin’s hand to put it next to her own. They both stand in the middle of the aisle, in awe, even after it stops. 

“Wow,” Kevin says. 

“Yeah.” Madison agrees. For a long moment, he just stares at her, his expression soft and fond, and it almost seems like he’s going to hug her, or something, but he blinks and the moment passes.

“You know what this means?” 

“Hmm?”

“You’re outvoted. They want the two thousand dollar stroller too.”

* * *

_The Manny’s Baby Mama Drama_ , blares the headline on _People_ the following week. It must be a slow news week, because the story runs in all the grocery store tabloids plus the gossip blogs and Entertainment Tonight. There’s a picture of the two of them someone took in the baby store. Madison is frowning and Kevin has his hands on his hips; it looks like they’re in the middle of some kind of argument, but Madison’s pretty sure it was when they were both just baffled and overwhelmed by the fourteen different car seats available to them. 

But, because gossip media thrives on hating women, the story that runs with the picture paints Madison as a scheming gold digger out to use her uterus to trap Kevin and his millions. “She _demanded_ he buy a two thousand dollar stroller!” claims one quote. “They spent almost ten thousand dollars,” says another. 

_Us Weekly_ runs an in-depth profile of all of Kevin’s former girlfriends, a long line of actresses and models, snidely implying Madison doesn’t quite measure up. Some gossip blog manages to get an itemized list of everything they bought. She never really thought Kevin was _this_ famous, famous enough that people care how much money he spends at a baby store or feel entitled to tear someone down just for existing in his orbit. 

At first, nobody’s able to find out much about Madison. The first article incorrectly describes her as a twenty-five-year-old yoga instructor (there’s a Madison _Simmons_ who’s a yoga instructor in Malibu, which could be contributing to the confusion), but it only takes about two days before old coworkers and classmates, ex-boyfriends and distant relatives come out of the woodwork, all of them ready to spill (or invent) a dirty secret for a quick buck. So-called high school friends talk about what a slut she was. Her stepbrother—whom she hasn’t talked to in ten years—tweets that she’s only ever cared about money, and it gets retweeted thirty thousand times. Somebody she used to bartend with in college claims she always would flirt with the celebrities and athletes who came in. (Madison used to flirt with _everyone_ who came in. She was paying her own way through college; she needed the tips.) 

Nobody from her support groups or the center where she did inpatient treatment for two months talks, which is all that really matters to her.

Kevin calls her while she’s at work, something he’s never done before. “I’m so sorry,” he says. “My publicist is working on a statement right now, she’s going to send it your way for approval before she runs it.”

“It’s fine, Kevin.” 

“It’s _not_.” Kevin insists. “I don’t care what they print about me, but they have no right to attack you.”

“Going at them guns blazing isn’t going to fix anything, it’s just going to make it worse.”

“So, what, you just want to ignore it?” 

“Maybe,” Madison says. “I don’t know. I’ve never been a national gossip story before. I just don’t see how shooting back is going to do anything but draw more attention.”

Kevin sighs. “Yeah. Okay. Let me conference in Steph, she’s the expert anyway.”

Steph, Kevin’s publicist, has a Texan drawl and an exceptionally no-nonsense manner. 

“Listen, Kevin, at the end of the day I’m gonna do whatever you say you want me to,” Steph says, once Kevin explains. “But unless y’all want to spend the rest of this pregnancy under a microscope, we gotta give them something. We can give them a fairy tale or the truth or something in between, but the quickest way to have this become yesterday’s news is make it boring.”

“What do you suggest?” Madison asks. Her boss is sending her increasingly curious looks—Madison has never taken a personal call at her desk before—and she also has to pee, so the quicker they make a decision the better.

“Kevin, we’ve still got you booked on Corden tomorrow night. All things pregnancy have been on the blacklist since the beginning, but we could loosen that up a bit. It’s a friendly audience, Corden will play ball, and as long as you can be positive and nonchalant and _not_ throw a Manny Meltdown 2.0, we can get some goodwill and some breathing room for you guys. Thank god we already told him no on Spill Your Guts.”

“What do you think, Madison?” Kevin asks. 

“That’s fine.” 

“Great. Here’s what I need: decide amongst yourselves what story we’re selling, and whether you want Madison there for the whole dressing room bit. I have a call scheduled with Corden’s producers at nine tomorrow morning.” Steph says, and Madison hears the low beeps that indicate she’s dropped out of the call. 

“I need to get back to work,” Madison says. “My boss is giving me the stink-eye.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll come by tonight. I’ll bring dinner, let me know what you want.”

* * *

Kevin brings dinner from Spago. 

“Oh my god, Kevin, I was _joking_ ,” Madison laughs, but honestly she’s always wanted to try it. 

“Yeah, I know, but it sounded good,” he says, as he unpacks burrata and risotto and pappardelle and duck and salmon. There’s some sort of cake with berries for dessert, and Madison eyes the individual portion skeptically. She wants her own dessert after a week like this one.

Kevin notices and laughs. “Don’t worry, there’s more,” and pulls out another dessert, this one chocolate. 

“This is insane.” Madison looks at the crowd of takeout containers on her island.

“So we have leftovers,” he shrugs. “There are worse fates. There’s lobster in the risotto, I wasn’t sure if seafood was still a no-go—

Madison gags. 

“—yeah, that’s what I thought. But hey, more risotto for me. The burrata is definitely pasteurized, I made the hostess check with the chef.”

Kevin sets the table while Madison changes out of work clothes, and when she gets back downstairs everything is plated and waiting. He’s digging through the fridge, probably for a seltzer, and for a second her heart skips. In her kitchen, in his faded sweatshirt and jeans with his shoes off, he looks _right_.

He grins at her when he closes the fridge door.

“What?”

“You just look really pregnant.”

“Wow, thanks.” 

“No, I mean like...glowy. Whatever,” he smirks, “and also, your boobs.”

She swats his arm, “Kevin!”

“I am only human,” he says, holding his hands up in surrender, but she’s pretty sure he’s sneaking glances at them. 

“Let’s eat, I’m starving. I spent my whole lunch break on the phone.”

“Sorry,” Kevin winces.

It’s not a date. It has no business feeling like a date, but the combined efforts of the fancy food and Kevin’s apparent appreciation that yes, Madison is up two cup sizes and how protective he’s been this week are all making it feel very date-like. She won’t let it trick her, though. Kevin wants a Great Love Story, and Madison doesn’t believe in those. Maybe she would, if her parents had some kind of fairy tale romance like Jack and Rebecca, falling in love at first sight, making it last twenty years. But she’s the product of a prom night mistake, a shotgun wedding, and a quickie divorce. She spent her childhood shuttled between two houses, neither of which actually felt like home, always feeling somehow both in the way and totally invisible. 

It’s the kind of life she wants to avoid for their kids. 

“Why were you already scheduled for The Late Late Show? Are you promoting something?”

Kevin shakes his head. “I give good talk show, apparently. Sometimes I get booked during the slow months, like now, when nobody really has anything to promote. Summer blockbusters are out and the award season push doesn’t start for another couple months. And maybe Steph booked it on the hope that the Shyamalan project was a hit people were still talking about three months later.”

Madison’s been preoccupied, and never really followed Kevin’s career anyway (the novelty of Kate having a famous brother wore off sometime after Kate and Toby’s wedding), but even she knows the horror movie got terrible reviews and barely made its budget back at the box office.

“It’s a shame Marvel are dragging their feet,” Kevin says, mostly to himself. “If only we could drop that announcement right now.”

“Marvel?! Kevin, what the hell?”

“It’s not a big deal,” he says. “Or even a deal at all, yet. I mean, I’ve signed the contracts but the script is still in development.”

“I just need to know if you’re putting me one degree closer to Chris Evans.”

“No. More like...Pratt.”

“Shut up.”

“You can’t tell anybody.”

“Who am I gonna tell?”

“Kate. Who will tell Toby. Who will tell everyone at Crossfit.”

“Okay, fair.”

They finish dinner, and over dessert (Madison picks the chocolate one), they hash out what Kevin’s going to tell James Corden and the rest of America.

“If we can aim for as close to the truth as possible without giving people more ammunition to slut-shame me, that would be great.”

They land on “close friends who decided to co-parent” and agree that nobody needs to know the decision to co-parent came _after_ Madison got pregnant. They choose a mostly-true anecdote that makes them seem cute and relatable. Madison vetoes joining Kevin for the dressing room bit, where James Corden greets the guests and gives the audience a glimpse at what’s happening inside their dressing room and who else might be there. 

“I have a meeting. I can’t just show up at a talk show taping. Even if I didn’t...showing up makes me look like I _want_ all this attention.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.”

Kevin cleans the kitchen and packs up all their leftovers in Tupperware containers. 

“You should take some with you,” Madison says, and Kevin tries to wave her off. “Kevin, you _cannot_ leave seafood risotto in my fridge. Just the idea of it makes me want to barf. God, take the salmon too. Leave the rest of the burrata, though.”

She walks him to the door. “Good luck tomorrow. What was it Steph said? Positive, nonchalant, no Manny Meltdown 2.0?”

“Doable.” Kevin nods. Then, surprisingly, he’s hugging her. It’s a little awkward, since he’s holding his leftovers under one arm and hugging her with the other. “I’m sorry this has been such a shitty week.”

“Thank you,” she says, feeling suddenly more emotional than she has all week.

“Are you okay?”

“Hormones,” she waves her hand in front of her face, as if that will do anything to stop the tears welling. “Honestly, I’m fine.”

“Okay. If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure. Go home.”

“All right. Good night.”

“Good night. Thank you for dinner.”

* * *

Madison doesn’t plan to stay up to watch Kevin on _The Late Late Show_. He texted her after the taping and said it had gone well, and Madison was happy to leave it at that, but she’s still awake and comfortable on the couch when the clock hits eleven, so she figures she may as well.

She leaves the TV on mute for the monologue and the opening bits, and only turns the volume back on when the guests come out. Aside from Kevin, Anna Paquin is there. 

They make a bit of small talk, James asks if they know each other (they don’t) and James segues smoothly into his agenda with Kevin.

“You’ve had a busy week,” he says, cheerfully.

“And an expensive one, if the Internet has it right.” Kevin jokes.

“Do they ever?” James rolls his eyes. “You’ve definitely done a good job keeping this quiet, though.” James holds up one of the kinder pictures of the two of them that surfaced this week, both of them smiling walking out of the baby store. 

“We did our best.” Kevin shrugs, “That’s my friend Madison. We’re expecting twins this fall.” 

The audience cheers and claps.

“Oh, congratulations.” Anna beams. “I have twins too. You’ll love it! You won’t sleep for about seven years, but you’ll love it.”

James, Kevin, and the audience all laugh.

“I’m a triplet, so I’m sure it’s just karma for what my brother, sister, and I put our parents through.” Kevin grins. “We are really excited, though.”

“What brought this on?” James asks. “It’s a bit of an atypical family arrangement.”

“You know, you get older and you think more about what’s important to you, what you want from life, and kids are a big one for me. Madison was feeling the same way, and we’ve both been a little unlucky in love. We were ready for the next step, but we weren’t finding partners who were on the same page.”

“So you thought, hey, let’s give it a go?” James winks. “We’ve all been there. A couple glasses of wine with a close friend...one thing leads to another…”

Kevin shrugs, his face still pleasant. “You know, I just feel really lucky to be on this adventure with such a good friend. It’s been rough, this week, seeing all the stuff that’s been online and in the magazines. I hope people will back off, because she hasn’t done anything wrong. I respect her so much, and she’s going to be such a great mom.”

“That’s sweet,” Anna says, as the audience _awwww_ s. Madison suspects Kevin veered off of Steph’s pre-approved script there, but she can’t help appreciating it. Baby A or Baby B gives a couple hard kicks in what Madison imagines is agreement. 

“How are things going? You’re getting everything ready?”

“We are, although it’s a little more complicated than we thought it would be. We don’t live together, obviously, so it’s not just one nursery, it’s two, and on top of that it’s two babies.”

“You’re going to be drowning in baby socks,” Anna laughs. 

“And Madison’s very practical, you know, super organized. Me, not so much. We go into these stores and she’s got her list and it’s all researched, meanwhile I get distracted by the Ferrari of strollers. I don’t know _why_ it cost two grand, when it looks just like the one that costs, like, a third of that. You know, maybe it’s got autopilot, like a Tesla?”

“Just what you need, your kids loose in your neighborhood on autopilot.”

“Exactly,” Kevin laughs. “So I’m just badgering her, I know this isn’t the one on your list but we need it, this is the one. Like a kid in Toys R Us. And she goes ‘fine, whatever, get the stroller’. And I’m thrilled, you know. I pick out the red one and I’m sure it’s gonna look so cool and I can’t wait to get it home and figure out its special features. The problem is,” Kevin pauses, and Madison snorts. Always a drama queen. “It looks just like the other one, right? So we get it home, and I’m like, hey, where’s the autopilot? Where’s the USB charger for my phone?” 

“Uh-oh,” James says, making a good show of anticipating where this is going, even though he of course already knows. 

“And Madison goes ‘you wanted red. The Tesla of strollers only came in gray and black’. So I’m not sure what stroller I have, but at least it looks cool.”

They cut to commercial, and Madison assumes the rest of the interview portion of the show will focus on Anna Paquin and whatever she’s there to promote. She turns off the TV and picks up her phone. It’s after midnight, but somehow she knows Kevin will answer. 

“Hey,” he says, “is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Madison says. “I just watched the show.”

“Oh. How was it? I don’t like to watch interviews after I’ve done them. Did I pull off positive and nonchalant? I saved the Manny Meltdown for off camera when there weren’t M&Ms in my dressing room.”

He’s trying to deflect, Madison thinks, but for once she doesn’t want to let him off the hook.

“Thank you,” Madison says. “For what you said. I don’t know if it will make anyone back off, but I still appreciate it.”

“That’s not why I said it.” Kevin says softly. “Or it is, a little bit, but mostly I said it because it’s _true_. You know, maybe this isn’t how either of us wanted to get here, but I really am happy I’m doing this with you.”

“Me too.”

* * *

“We may have overcorrected,” Kevin says, passing her his phone. It’s been a few weeks since his appearance on _The Late Late Show_ , and things have more or less calmed down. As was inevitable, more famous people did more exciting/scandalous things, and Kevin Pearson’s co-parenting arrangement dropped off everyone’s radar. 

She takes his phone, and sees a Buzzfeed article on the screen: _Twenty-three Times Kevin Pearson and BFF Madison Simons Were #RelationshipGoals_. 

“Am I really your BFF? Kate’s going to be mad.” Madison laughs. 

The list opens with the disclaimer “we know they’re just friends, BUT C’MON!” and then, in true listicle fashion, it’s just twenty-three pictures either of them or from Kevin’s Instagram, some with captions but most without. 

“Like ten of these are from the same day. Let’s hope they don’t pull a muscle with all that stretching.”

Kevin laughs. “Better they speculate that we’re together than go back to the bullshit they were printing before, I guess.”

“Right,” Madison agrees. “Oh, there goes Baby A again. Jeez, let’s get this girl on a swim team or something. She’s a kicker.”

Kevin leans over to talk to her belly, “Stop giving your mother a hard time,” he says. 

“Not even born, already a total daddy’s girl.” Madison scoffs when the kicks stop. 

“This is so weird,” Kate jokes. “I liked it better when you two didn’t get along.”

“For your information, Buzzfeed thinks we’re hashtag relationship goals.” Kevin shoots back.

“Nobody says hashtag anymore.”

“You’re the one who invited us both over for dinner.” Madison says.

“The Pearson-Damons have big news,” Toby calls from the kitchen. “The kind that warrants getting the Big Three and their assorted family units together.”

“Big Three?” Kevin asks. 

“Randall and Beth are going to FaceTime in about five minutes.”

“Kate!”

“I don’t care that you’re still fighting, Kevin. You’re both my brothers and you both get to hear our news at the same time.”

Things are...tense, almost from the minute the call begins. They all crowd around Toby’s iPad, and Kevin is rigid next to her. Randall doesn’t look especially relaxed either. Not that he ever really does, in Madison’s limited experience.

“Thanks for calling, guys,” Kate says. 

“We’ve got about ten minutes before Beth has to leave to teach her class,” Randall says stiffly.

“It’s fine, I co-teach, I’m not in a hurry.” Beth says. 

“We can keep it quick,” Toby says. “Where are the girls? They could give us a killer drum roll right now!”

Annie and Deja pop into the frame from the kitchen, “We’re here!” 

“Tess is working on a project at her friend’s house,” Deja says. “But we can do a drum roll.” 

They both thump on the back of the couch. Kevin joins them for a drum roll on the coffee table, slightly off beat. 

“Thank you, that was excellent.” Toby says, “We’ve gathered you all here today because Kevin and Madison aren’t the only ones bringing new Pearsons into the world in 2020.”

“No!” Beth gasps. 

“Toby and I got approved to adopt. We just got chosen by a birth mother and she’s due in December.”

“That’s wonderful,” Madison says. “Oh my gosh, congratulations.”

“Another cousin!” Annie cheers. 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” Kevin says, a little flat.

“We wanted to wait until we were approved. And we didn’t want to steal your thunder.”

There’s a muscle jumping in Randall’s jaw, like he’s grinding his teeth together. 

“Randall?” Kate frowns.

“Great news,” he says, tightly. “Really. I’m sure you really thought it through, for everybody’s sake.”

“What?”

“Don’t take it out on them, Randall.” Kevin frowns.

“I take it you haven’t told anybody what you said. Typical.” Randall scoffs. “Congratulations Kate and Toby, really. I have to go, I have work to do.”

“I’m sorry, Kate,” Beth says. “It’s not your fault.”

“Clearly,” Kate glares at Kevin.

“Beth—

“Look, Kevin, he won’t tell me what you said either, but I’m thinking if he’s this upset, you’ve got some work to do to fix it.”

“I know.”

“What did you _say_ , Kevin?” Kate demands when Beth hangs up.

“Something I really regret.” Kevin groans.

“Obviously.” 

“Madison,” Toby says suddenly, “do you, uh, want to help me with the...hummus in the kitchen?”

“Yes!” Madison says quickly, and Toby gives her a hand to pull her to her feet. 

“Sometimes you just gotta let the Pearsons Pearson,” he says once they’re safely in the kitchen. 

“Kevin!” Kate shrieks.

“See?” Toby says. 

“We’re not having dinner, are we?”

“Probably not.” Toby sighs. “There is actually hummus though. And carrots. Want some?”

Madison laughs, “Yes. Thanks, I’m starving.”

“Okay, Mads, level with me here,” Toby says while they both munch on carrots that almost drown out the sound of Kate tearing Kevin a new one. “What’s the sitch with you and Kevin?”

“There is no sitch,” Madison rolls her eyes. “We’re having kids together, we’re making the best of it.”

“Does making the best of it involve lots of flirting? That’s news to me.”

“We aren’t flirting!”

“You are. I mean, you kind of always were before any of this went down, but this is next level.”

“There’s nothing going on. I swear.”

Toby cocks his head, looking at her with entirely too much perception. “You _like_ him,” he hisses, glancing over his shoulder like Kevin is going to appear in the kitchen.

“It doesn’t matter.” Madison hisses back, feeling her face get warm. “He doesn’t like _me_.”

“Uh, I hate to break it to you, but I’m pretty sure he does.”

“I’m not what he wants, Toby.” Toby frowns, but before he can say anything Kate comes through the kitchen doorway. 

“Um, Kevin is leaving.”

“Shit, he drove me here. My purse is in his car!” Madison hurries past Kate, “I love you, I’m so happy for you guys, I’ll call you tonight!”

Kevin is pulling open his car door when Madison gets outside. “Kevin, wait!”

“Can you just leave me alone, Madison?” He shouts. “None of this is any of your business.”

“I don’t care about your fight with your brother. You drove me here, asshole,” she snaps back. 

“Jesus,” he says. “I’m sorry.”

Kevin slaps the power button on his radio when she gets in the car. Madison gets the message that he doesn’t want to talk and settles back into her seat, but then her favorite Leonard Cohen song comes up on shuffle, and he reaches for the skip button.

“No, don’t! I love this song.” Madison says, and he turns to look at her for a long moment while they sit at a stoplight. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s a good song.”

Madison’s no singer, but she can’t help singing along. After a second, Kevin joins in. 

_Now so long, Marianne, it’s time we began to laugh and cry and cry and laugh about it all again._

“Yikes,” he laughs. “Our kids are _not_ getting the music gene.”

“Well, they’ll probably be pretty enough it won’t matter.” Madison says, and _shit_ , that’s definitely what Toby means about flirting.

“I do have the connections if they want to be movie stars and cologne models,” he grins. 

He’s quiet the rest of the drive, and when he pulls into her driveway he kills the engine. “I’m sorry I was a jerk before.”

“Kevin, it was a rough night, it’s fine.”

“It’s not. You’re the mother of my kids. You’re part of this family now too.”

Madison considers that for a long moment. “I don’t care what you and Randall are fighting about,” she says, and Kevin opens his mouth, probably to argue. “Kevin, listen. I don’t have a family like yours. I haven’t seen my dad in fifteen years, and when my mom died two years ago I went to go clean out her house and it was like...packing up a stranger’s things. We talked every week and I never knew anything about her. I’m not sure she knew anything real about me. The only family our kids are ever going to know is _yours_. I’d like them to have an Uncle Randall and an Aunt Beth and Deja and Tess and Annie for cousins, because the more people we give them the less likely they’re going to grow up feeling like strangers. I don’t have a family to give them, so please, let’s give them yours.”

“I’m gonna do what I can.” Kevin says. “Promise.”

“Okay.”

“You’re wrong, though. About not having a family to give them. You and me...we’re a family.”

* * *

“How are Otto and Octavia today,” Kevin asks, when Madison answers his FaceTime call. He’s in Philadelphia, not staying with Randall but at least trying to fix what he broke. He was in St. Louis before that, and stopped in New York in between. All in all, he’s been gone ten days, missed two Saturday breakfasts and one appointment with Dr. Mason. 

“Uh, I think we need to start testing out names we _like_.” 

“We’ve got ages. Two whole months until D-day.”

“I really love when you compare my due date to the invasion of Normandy.” Madison sighs. “But apparently we’ve got more like four weeks. Six, tops.”

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Does this seem like something I would joke about?”

“But the book says thirty-eight weeks.”

“The book apparently neglected to mention that less than half of twin pregnancies make it past thirty- _seven_ weeks.”

“It’s okay,” Kevin says, and Madison is pretty sure she must look crazy. She’s been panicking a little bit since she got home, thinking of all the things they haven’t gotten ready yet. “Six weeks is still a lot of time. Four weeks, even.”

“We have so much to do, Kevin. The nursery is still a mess, and we have to meet with that lawyer about the custody stuff, and you wanted to start interviewing nannies, and figure out how we want the first few weeks once they’re born to work, and—

“It’s gonna be okay. Really. I can get on a flight Friday, I’ll come over Saturday and we’ll get the nursery set up. I’ll put Ben in charge of figuring out the lawyer; I think he’s bored.”

“Friday? Kevin, I don’t want you to cut things short with Randall.”

“It’s fine. This he’ll actually understand. He’s the ultimate family man.”

“It’s just feeling...really real, all of a sudden,” she says. 

“Yeah.” Kevin nods. “Beth and Randall got us a gift...well, the babies. They’re little onesies, and they say Tiny Two on them, like how Kate, Randall, and I are—

“Big Three,” Madison nods. “Tiny Two. I like that.”

“And they’re just so _little_. Like, I can’t believe how little they’re going to be.”

“They don’t feel so little from where I’m sitting.”

Kevin smiles. “No, I guess they wouldn’t.”

“They especially aren’t going to seem little during delivery.”

“Oof, no. Sorry about that. Pearsons are big-headed babies.”

“I don’t want to think about that now. How are things going with Randall?”

“We went to therapy together today. We’ve both just been really angry for a really long time, and I don’t think we knew until today that we’re angry about the same thing.” Kevin sighs. “Actually no. We’re angry at the same _person_. Our dad. Except he’s dead, so we’ve been taking it out on each other for twenty-odd years. It’s been easier to be angry with each other than admit he wasn’t perfect. It doesn’t make any of what I said okay, but it feels like something fixable, now.”

He looks tired on her phone screen, dark circles under his eyes and a weary expression on his face. Maybe it’s just the bad lighting in his hotel room. “How are you holding up? It sounds like it’s been a lot.”

“Yeah. It has.” Kevin scrubs his hand over his face. “I’m ready to come home, honestly.”

“I can’t promise it will be more restful here. Two nurseries, Kevin!”

“I know, I know. It’s a long to-do list.”

“I’ll let you get some sleep,” Madison says. “Good night.”

“Night. See you Saturday.”

* * *

Kevin gets there earlier than normal Saturday morning, so early Madison is still in pajamas and hasn’t had her coffee yet. He has a bag of groceries with him and clearly has some kind of plan for breakfast.

“I’m still on East Coast time,” he shrugs. “Do you have a waffle maker?”

“Yeah, somewhere. Cupboard above the fridge, maybe.” Madison pulls out coffee mugs and pours them both some, adding milk to Kevin’s. “Didn’t your flight get in at, like, midnight?”

“Yeah,” Kevin says, unearthing the waffle maker with an ominous clatter from the back of the cupboard. “Slept for a few hours, woke up before the sun was up, and then felt like making waffles.”

“Sure.” Madison says. “That’s always what I want to do on basically no sleep, fight the Saturday morning crowds at Whole Paycheck and make waffles from scratch.” 

He grins at her. Despite not getting much sleep, and coming off a long, stressful visit with his brother, he looks good. It’s annoying how good, actually, especially when she’s in the only pajamas that fit her with her hair still up in a bun on top of her head. He’s in a blue button down and faded jeans, and everything about him looks soft and inviting, like if she were to reach out and hug him he’d be warm. 

“What?” Kevin asks, freezing as he pulls eggs out of the grocery bag. 

“What?”

“Do I have something on my face? You were staring.”

“Oh. No. Sorry. I’m gonna go take a shower. Try not to trash my kitchen with this waffle experiment.”

“It’s not an experiment,” Kevin calls after her. “I make _great_ waffles.”

The problem is, he’s too goddamn hot for anybody’s good. Madison’s especially. It’s not exactly _news_ , because she has eyes, but it’s getting harder to ignore, the better she knows him as a person and the further away he seems from Kevin Pearson, Movie Star and Cologne Model. Instead he’s Kevin, who brings her expensive Italian food when she’s had a rough week and terrible junk food without needing to talk about it, who told everyone in America how much he respects her, who comes up with terrible baby names because it makes her laugh, who jumped all in when she gave him every possible out she could think of. To be blisteringly hot on top of all of that just isn’t fair to Madison and her out of control hormones. 

“Get a grip,” she mutters to herself, hastily pulling on leggings and a sweatshirt after her shower. It doesn’t matter how she looks; Kevin doesn’t think of her in any kind of way except the mother of his children.

“Perfect timing,” he says, pulling a waffle out of the waffle maker as she comes into the kitchen. “You get the first one. Well...second, because the first waffle is always bad—

“I thought that was the first pancake.”

“Same concept.”

He’s right, of course, he does make great waffles. 

“Should we get cracking on this nursery?” He asks, once they’ve both eaten and more or less gotten the kitchen back to its normal, tidy state.

“Yes,” Madison says. “But don’t judge me! I’ve been growing two humans, and the last thing I’ve wanted to do when I get home every day is figure out how to assemble furniture. It always says _some_ assembly required and it’s never some! It’s lots! All the assembly required.”

Madison pushes open the door to the nursery and almost closes it again, like she’s been doing for the past two months. It’s been too overwhelming, and she knows it’s less about stacks of flat-pack furniture boxes than it is about the huge change coming to her life in approximately four to six weeks. 

“It’s not that bad,” Kevin says, standing in the doorway, taking in all the boxes and the bags, the shelf she started to assemble and then got frustrated and walked away from, the dresser she found at a thrift store and intended to paint, the uncomfortable rocking chair she hates but that everyone at work chipped in to buy for her. (They gave her a gift receipt, at least. She can return it and exchange it for something else, but she hasn’t had the chance yet.)

Kevin finishes the shelf in about five minutes, and then they start unpacking the cribs. The first one is harder, obviously, but it only takes them about half an hour of minimal bickering to figure it out. 

They’re putting the second one together when Kevin says, “I saw Sophie when I was in New York.” 

“Sophie is your ex-wife?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh. I guess I just assumed you were in New York for work,” Madison says, and wishes she could unsay it immediately. It sounds like the jealous girlfriend thing to say, not the cool co-parent thing.

“It was mostly work. I had a meeting at NBC. But...I usually try to see Sophie when I’m in the city. There’s this divey diner we always go to, it’s gross but they have the best cheese fries.”

“So you and your ex are still close.” 

“She’s married,” Kevin says. “But yeah, I guess. I mean, we don’t really keep in touch. We just...catch up when we can. We’ve known each other since the fourth grade.”

She shouldn’t _care_ about the way his face lights up when he talks about his ex. But she does. 

“You don’t have to, like, explain anything to me.” Madison says, more sharply than she means to. “We aren’t together. You’re allowed to see your ex-wife and not feel like you need to justify it.”

“Right.” Kevin says, his face frustratingly neutral. “She said congratulations. About the babies.”

“Nice of her,” Madison says, as lightly as she can manage. She feels like she’s going to cry, tears already burning in her eyes. “I have to pee,” she says abruptly. “I’ll be right back.”

“Shit,” she says, in the bathroom, trying not to burst into tears. Toby was right, she _likes_ Kevin. She can’t chalk it up to hormones or just making the best of things. It’s not about the babies, it’s just about him. 

* * *

The phone doesn’t even finish ringing once before Kevin answers. Madison’s at thirty-six weeks and he’s been on high alert for three weeks now. She’s actually starting to get concerned about his blood pressure.

“I’m in labor,” she says.

“I’ll be there in twenty,” he says, even though that’s definitely not possible. Madison doesn’t argue with him, just gets out of bed, changes into her pre-planned hospital outfit and goes downstairs to wait for Kevin. Her packed bag has been sitting next to the front door for a week, the nursery is ready, and she started her maternity leave Friday, so if ever there was a good time to go into early labor with twins, it’s now.

She walks back and forth from her kitchen to her living room, since it feels better than sitting and waiting. She calls Dr. Mason’s answering service and gives them the information about her contractions and they assure her he’ll call her back right away. 

Kevin’s headlights swing across her living room as he pulls into the driveway. She doesn’t want to know how many speed limits he broke or red lights he ran. He leaves the car running and jogs up the walkway, and Madison startles him when she pulls the door open. He looks more than a little manic.

“I should’ve started sleeping here when you hit thirty-four weeks.”

“Kevin, you need to take like ten deep breaths before I’m going to get in the car with you,” she says. 

“Yeah,” he nods. “Lemme take your bag.”

She hands him the duffel even though it isn’t very heavy, because it’s clear he needs something to do right now. She stops short in the driveway. 

“Kevin. That’s a _station wagon_.”

“What?” He says, slamming the back door shut. 

“What happened to your convertible?”

“That’s a two seater. I had to get something I could fit the car seats in.”

“So you went full suburban soccer dad.”

“It could be worse. I almost got you a minivan.”

“Don’t you dare.” Madison says, and then gasps as another contraction starts. “Ow, ow, ow, Kate is such a liar, she said it wasn’t that bad.”

“Okay, hospital, let’s go.” Kevin says, helping her into the car.

It’s two in the morning, but it could be the middle of the day on the maternity ward. Madison has always found that sort of comforting, the way hospitals never really settle down for the night. There are lulls, but there’s always something happening somewhere.

Their nurse is young, and a little starstruck by Kevin, but he’s too anxious to do his regular charming thing that puts people at ease.

“Kevin, _please_ ,” Madison says, after he’s been pacing around her room for ten minutes. “You’re making me nervous.”

“Sorry,” he sits next to her bed, but he’s still jiggling his foot. 

“Get out your phone,” she says, and he does. “Let’s talk names.”

“Oh. Okay. Girls or boys first?”

“Boys. Don’t think about it, just tell me your top two.”

“Nicholas and Owen.”

“I like both of those. Mine are Christopher and Ian. Delete the rest.”

“Really?”

“Really. We can’t have thirty options when we actually need to name these kids. We’ll be here for weeks.”

“Fair,” Kevin says. “Okay, what are your favorite girl names?”

“Penelope and Molly.”

Kevin laughs, “You’re gonna think I’m joking, but mine are Penelope—I mean, Penny, really—and Marianne.”

“Marianne? Kevin, we can’t name our daughter after a Leonard Cohen song. Even if it is a good one. The poor kid will spend her whole life having to explain it.”

“It’s a great song.”

“Marianne Pearson sounds like she was born in 1954.”

“Yeah, okay. I like Molly too. And Lucy.”

“Christopher, Ian, Nicholas, and Owen and Penelope, Molly, and Lucy. Those are good short lists.”

“Now we just gotta hope they actually _look_ like one of those names.”

“They will.”

“How are you not freaking out right now? We’re hours away from having twins.”

“Let’s not get too hasty,” Dr. Mason says, coming into the room. “We’re probably in for a bit of a wait. How are you feeling, Madison?”

“Okay. Contractions are no joke, though. How long until I can get that epidural?”

“Things are progressing a little slowly right now, so I’d say let’s hold off for a little while.”

“Slowly? What does that mean?”

“It means slowly, Kevin.” Madison sighs. 

“Nothing to worry about.” Dr. Mason smiles. “Try to get some rest, Madison. You’re going to want energy later.”

At six, neither Kevin or Madison has actually managed to sleep. Kevin is pacing again, although he pauses every time a contraction hits (about every four minutes, now) so Madison can squeeze his hand and swear at him. The shifts change, and they get a new nurse who either doesn’t recognize Kevin or doesn’t care, which suits both of them just fine. 

Dr. Mason comes back a little after seven. Kevin is still pacing. 

“All right, Madison, we’re up to five centimeters. Still want that epidural?”

“Dear lord, yes.”

“Great. Kevin,” Dr. Mason looks over at him, “why don’t you go get a cup of tea? Herbal, not caffeinated. You seem plenty hyped up.”

“I’m good.”

“Let me level with you, Kevin. You don’t strike me as the kind of guy who’s got the stomach for this next bit. Some of the dads do, but a lot of them are better off not watching Dr. Shah, the anesthesiologist, stick a three inch needle in mom’s spine.”

“In her _spine_? Jesus.”

“Like I said. Tea. Try chamomile. Come back in about half an hour.”

“Half an hour? Is it going to take that long?” Madison asks, when Kevin is gone.

“Oh, no. Dr. Shah will be here in a minute. It will just be good for him to walk around for a little while. Good for you, too.”

“Thank you,” Madison smiles.

Once the epidural kicks in, Madison actually manages to nap for a little while. When she wakes up, Kevin is sitting next to her, a cardboard cup of tea in his hand. 

“Hey,” he smiles. “I think I was driving you crazy before.”

“Just a little.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, I’m used to it.” Madison laughs. 

“So I haven’t told anyone we’re here. I wasn’t sure if you wanted people to come or not.”

“I don’t, but at least tell your siblings, I know you want to.”

“Yeah, I do.” Kevin grins. “The Big Three group chat is gonna be blowing up.”

As if on cue, his phone starts dinging with messages.

“Kate wants to know if we need anything?”

“Nope, I’m good. You might need some Xanax or something, though.”

“Very funny,” Kevin snorts. “Beth says have somebody bring food so you can eat as soon as the delivery is over.”

“Ohh, that’s a good call.”

“Yeah. What do you want?”

Madison grins. “An Egg McMuffin, two hash browns, and a M&M McFlurry.”

“I’ll make it happen, soon as these babies get here.”

“Nicky wants to FaceTime,” Kevin says, somewhere during hour ten. “Is that okay? I can take it in the hall.”

“You can take it here,” Madison says. “Honestly, sounds like a good distraction.”

She’s hungry, tired, and uncomfortable. The epidural only does so much, and she’s regretting not being able to walk around. She’s flipped through all the trashy magazines Kevin brought up from the gift shop, and played hours of Candy Crush on her phone. 

Kevin answers the call. “Since when do you know how to FaceTime?”

“I’m old, not an idiot, Kevin.”

Madison snorts. 

“How’re things going?”

“Well, we’ve been here since, what, two am?”

“Yeah,” Madison agrees. Kevin shifts in his chair and angles the phone so they’re both on screen. Madison’s never met Nicky before, but he’s exactly what she pictured: gruff, a little scruffy, and she can see the Pearson family resemblance.

“This is Madison?” Nicky grins. “Kevin, you’re something else.”

“What?”

“Only an idiot would be _just friends_ with a knockout like her.”

“She can hear you too, you know, Nicky.”

“Good!” Nicky says. “How’re you holding up, Madison? He driving you crazy yet?”

“He was. He’s settled down a bit.”

“Ten hours of waiting will do that.” Kevin shrugs.

“Hey,” Nicky says, “say no if you want, but I was thinking maybe in a couple weeks, when you guys are feeling a little more settled, I’d like to drive out there and meet my great-niece and -nephew.”

“Drive? Nicky, I’ll get you a plane ticket, you don’t have to drive.”

“I want to. Somebody bought me a fancy RV, may as well take it on the road. See some sights. The Badlands, Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon, that kind of thing.”

“I mean, sure. That sounds great.”

“That okay with you, Madison?”

“Of course.”

“All right. I got a meeting to get to, I’ll see you guys in a couple weeks. Send me some pictures, when those babies get here.”

“Will do, Nicky. See you soon.” Kevin hangs up. “Uh, sorry about him.”

“Don’t apologize. He thinks I’m a knockout and you’re an idiot, sounds about right to me.”

Kevin laughs. “I mean, he’s not wrong.”

“About you being an idiot? Definitely not. He might need to get his eyes checked, though.”

“Madison—” Kevin starts to say, but a knock on the door interrupts him.

“How are we doing in here?” Their nurse asks, and Madison is immediately annoyed. _We_ aren’t the ones in labor, _she_ is.

“Getting a little bored, honestly,” Madison says. “And uncomfortable. Feels like lots of pressure in there.”

“That sounds pretty normal. And we’ll take bored over stressed any day.” She checks the printouts from Madison’s heart monitor and fetal monitor. “Still looking good here, let’s check how things are progressing.”

Kevin clears his throat and stares at the floor, the same way he has every time one of the nurses has checked how dilated she is, and Madison snorts. “Kev, it’s gonna get a whole lot more intense than this pretty soon.”

“Very soon,” the nurse agrees. “You’re at about nine centimeters.”

“Shit, really?” Kevin says. 

“Really. I’m gonna page Dr. Mason and get you some scrubs, Dad.”

“Wow. Do you think I have time to grab a sandwich?”

“Kevin!”

“Sorry. Bad joke?”

“Terrible joke.” Madison glares at him. “Do you _know_ how hungry I am?”

“Almost Egg McMuffin time.”

“Sure, just the small detail of pushing two humans out of my body first.”

Kevin winces, “Yeah. Sorry. Wishing you hadn’t offered me that cup of tea about nine months ago?”

“Yes,” Madison says, laughing. “If only I’d known what I was getting myself into. Twins!”

“Twins,” Kevin grins. “And four cribs, four carseats, two strollers, two changing tables, about a hundred onesies and pairs of socks.”

“Don’t forget the station wagon.”

“Man, you really hate the station wagon.”

“No,” Madison says, while nodding. Kevin laughs, and goes into the bathroom to change into his scrubs. 

“I should take a role as a doctor sometime. I look great in scrubs.” Kevin calls. 

“Not as good as me,” Dr. Mason says, coming into the room. “Ready to get this show on the road?”

“Ready as we’ll ever be, I think.”

It’s not like it is in the movies, even if Kevin does look like a TV doctor in his scrubs. Madison is already exhausted before she even has to start pushing, from no sleep and all the work her body has been doing, and the room feels crowded with all the nurses (one for her, one for each baby, two from the NICU, just in case) and Dr. Mason plus some med student Madison forgot she agreed could be here when they asked her at least seven hours ago. 

“All right Madison, it’s time to push again, you’re doing great,” Dr. Mason says, over and over and over.

“Maddie, you’re a freaking superhero,” Kevin says, holding one of her legs and letting her squeeze the hell out of his hand every time she has to push. “Come on, baby, you’re doing awesome.”

The med student is holding her other leg and looking a little overwhelmed. Madison thinks obstetrics are not in his future. 

“We’re almost there,” Dr. Mason says, “One more good push, Madison, good girl.”

And then suddenly Kevin is crying and she’s crying and Dr. Mason is putting a baby girl on her chest. 

“Oh my god,” Kevin says. “She’s here.”

Kevin kisses the top of her head, and Madison stares down at their daughter. “Shit, Kevin, does she look like a Marianne?”

“Nah,” he says. “She’s a Penny. A bright, shiny new Penny.”

“Ready to do this again?” Dr. Mason asks a few minutes later, when one of the nurses takes Penny to check her over and clean her up.

“No,” Madison groans. “I just...need a second.”

“Egg McMuffin,” Kevin says in her ear. “Two hash browns. An M&M McFlurry. Almost there.”

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go.”

“That’s my girl,” Kevin smiles at her, the megawatt smile that always makes Madison’s heart skip a beat. Even the med student looks like he needs a second to recover from the force of that smile. 

“All right,” Dr. Mason says, “Baby B’s turn.”

It’s easier, the second time. Penny paved the way for her brother. A few minutes of pushing, a few more minutes of Kevin calling her Maddie and baby and looking at her like she’s his favorite person in the world, and then it’s over, and there’s a baby boy in her arms.

“Hi Nicholas,” she says to him, and Kevin starts crying again. 

“Really?” he asks. “You sure? Because Christopher’s good too.”

“He’s a Nicholas. Look at that Pearson face.”

“Thank you,” Kevin says, and Madison knows he means for more than just the name. 

“Couldn’t have done it without you.”

“Please,” Kevin laughs. “I didn’t do anything. You were incredible.”

“A freaking superhero, I think were your exact words.”

“I stand by it,” Kevin grins. “Now, I believe I have an Egg McMuffin to get here pronto. Gonna put my man Toby on it, he understands the importance of an egg sandwich.”

* * *

“This is the best Egg McMuffin I’ve ever eaten.” Madison says.

“I bet.” Kevin grins. “You worked hard for it.”

Madison is pleasantly surprised that Toby just dropped the food off, that Kevin didn’t invite his entire family to come right this minute to see the twins. He’s already sent pictures, and taken phone calls from both Kate and his mom, but said they didn’t want hospital visitors. He hasn’t been able to get Randall on the phone, and Madison thinks she knows what that means. This family has a love for the dramatic, and she’s pretty sure Randall is on a plane. She hasn’t said as much to Kevin; the thought hasn’t occurred to him yet and she doesn’t want to ruin Randall’s surprise.

“Do you want my fries?” Kevin offers.

“Are you only offering because I delivered eleven pounds of humans today?”

“...yes.”

“Okay, gimme. I want to dip them in my McFlurry. I saw Chrissy Teigen do that on her Instagram story like three nights ago and I’ve been craving it since.”

Madison is just finishing eating when two nurses bring the babies in, looking much cleaner than the last time she saw them, when she’d fed them in a bit of a daze in the recovery room. 

“Special delivery,” one of them says.

“Hey there, Nick,” Kevin says, as one of the nurses puts him in Kevin’s arms. Madison takes Penny, and Kevin sits on the edge of the bed next to her. 

“God, we make cute kids.” Kevin says. His voice sounds thick like he might start crying again. 

“We really do.”

“First family selfie, c’mon.”

“Kevin, don’t, I look awful.”

“You look gorgeous,” Kevin says, matter-of-factly, and then he’s angling the phone to fit them all in. Madison is pretty sure she’s blushing in the picture. 

“Oh, that’s one to get framed, for sure.” Kevin says, showing her. 

“Send that to your mom, she’ll like it.”

“What about the ‘gram? Can I post it? Or do we want to go the ‘nobody ever sees photos of our kids’ route? It’s very in right now.”

“I don’t think anyone calls it the ‘gram anymore, Kevin.” Madison rolls her eyes. “You can post it, though. I’d rather we control the narrative, this time.”

“Listen to you, ‘control the narrative’, you sound like a real pro.”

“Yeah, it was that crash course in PR I had.”

It’s not until later, when Kevin and both babies are napping, that she checks her own Instagram. Kevin tagged her in the picture, and it has thousands of likes and comments. She reads the caption: _@m_simons87 is my favorite superhero. Welcome to the world, N &P._

Randall shows up, exactly as Madison expected, right before visiting hours end. 

“Uncle Randall in the house!” 

“Randall! What the hell are you doing here? Beth said you were in a town hall meeting and that’s why you weren’t answering my calls.”

“She lied. Wanted to surprise you. Hope it’s okay, I brought Aunt Kate, too.”

“Sorry, I know you guys said no hospital guests,” Kate says, following Randall into the room. “We won’t stay long.”

“No, it’s okay,” Madison smiles. “I’m glad you’re both here. We’ve got two babies who are ready to meet their aunt and uncle.”

“God, how do you look so pretty? I thought maybe it was a filter on that picture but no, you literally _gave birth to twins_ eight hours ago and you can’t even tell. This is some Kate Middleton bullshit.” Kate says, grinning. “Congratulations.” 

“Okay, Big Three, time to meet the Tiny Two, Penelope Kate and Nicholas Randall.”

Randall takes a little half-step back in surprise, and Kate presses her lips together the way she does when she’s trying not to cry. Randall and Kevin have some sort of intense conversation through staring, something Madison has only seen him do with Kate before, and then all three of them are hugging in the middle of the hospital room. She snaps a picture with her phone to send to Rebecca. 

Kate and Randall take turns holding the babies and ragging on Kevin, and Madison can’t help thinking that even if it it’s going to hurt her in the long run, being this close to Kevin when he inevitably finds the love of his life, at least Penny and Nick will always have this insane, dramatic, big, happy family. If she’d known nine months ago offering him tea that afternoon would lead to this, she thinks she’d still do everything the exact same way.

* * *

Madison loses track of the days in those first weeks they bring the twins home from the hospital. It’s just a haze of feeding and crying and changing diapers and doing laundry and the only reason she gets through any of it is because Kevin basically moves in.

They aren’t calling it that. He just...never goes back to his house. Apparently it was what he was planning all along, given the number of changes of clothes he had stashed in the back of the Volvo. 

He starts out sleeping on the couch, but one night he falls into bed next to her at 4am after walking Penny back to sleep (Nick sleeps easily but Penny will only settle if they walk her around). Madison doesn’t even notice until she wakes up at five-thirty to do the next feed, and then it seems stupid to say anything, because Kevin drags himself out of bed too and goes to put the coffee on. 

When she brings Penny and Nick downstairs, he’s making eggs. 

“We need groceries,” he says. “I’ll do an order later. Want anything special?”

Madison shakes her head. “Thanks. Whatever is fine.”

“Nicky thinks he’s probably gonna get into town sometime tomorrow. Are you still okay with him parking the RV in the driveway?”

“Yeah. The neighbors won’t care.” She’s never actually spoken to her neighbors, but it’s this level of neighborhood ambivalence that makes her feel confident it’s true.

“And Kate wants to do a birthday dinner tomorrow night, but I wasn’t sure how you felt about the twins leaving the house yet. She offered to make it happen here, but that sounds more stressful.”

Madison battles through the fog of exhaustion to try to piece all this information together. 

“Shit,” she says. “It’s your birthday. Your fortieth! I was going to do something cute with the babies. I never figured out what, but it was gonna be adorable. And I forgot to get Kate a gift. I’m the worst baby mama _and_ the worst best friend.”

“You gave birth to twins three weeks ago. I think that makes you the _best_ baby mama.”

“You’re biased. Your caveman brain is making you think good things about me because I’m the mother of your children.”

“Is that how that works?”

“Yes. It’s pheromones...or something. It’s the same reason babies heads smell so good, so you don’t murder them when they scream all night.”

“Sure, that makes sense.” 

“Are you making fun of me?”

“Only a little,” Kevin says, and loads up a plate with eggs, bacon, and toast. “Here, I’ll trade you, a baby for your breakfast.”

“Great, that’s a fair trade.” 

“Oh, good morning,” Kevin coos, as she passes over Penny. “Did you have a good sleep? A whole hour and a half, hmm? Yes, you kept Daddy up all night, screaming about nothing. Not even walking all over the house for two hours was enough to calm you down.”

“Two hours? Kevin, that’s crazy. Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Maddie, the fact that you were so exhausted you could sleep through it is exactly why I didn’t wake you up.”

“Go lay down now, then.”

“I’m up. I’ve had coffee. I’ll sleep during family nap time this afternoon.”

“Just because you keep calling it family nap time doesn’t guarantee anyone is actually going to sleep. Your terrorist of a daughter, especially.”

“She is a terrorist. She’s a sleep terrorist. But like...the cutest sleep terrorist in the world.”

“I told you, it’s the pheromones.”

* * *

“Hey,” Kevin says. “Do you mind if I go to a meeting today?”

“Of course not,” Madison says. “Is Nicky going too?”

“I invited him, but he says he’s good. You don’t mind hanging out with him?”

“I think I can handle it for a couple hours,” Madison smiles. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It’s just...I’ve been thinking about my dad a lot. When we were teenagers and he told us about his drinking problem, I was a real shit to him. And for a long time, the thing in the back of my mind has been, you know, we had this _great_ life until he started drinking again. I could never understand that, why somebody who had everything he’d ever wanted could risk losing it so easily. And now I’m in his shoes and...it’s not really that simple.” Kevin shrugs. “Anyway, I’ll be fine. I’m gonna jump in the shower and then head out.”

“Okay.”

She finds Nicky in the backyard, sitting in one of the patio chairs with his face tipped up toward the sun. “I could get used to this,” he says. “Sunshine everyday. Before I got drafted, I used to think about coming out here. I mean, it was the sixties, everyone wanted to move to California, especially people like me who read _On the Road_ and decided they could be writers, too.”

“At least you got here now. And you’re welcome back anytime.”

“I appreciate that.”

“Hell, you could probably move in. Kevin would be thrilled.”

“I think it would get a bit crowded here.”

“Oh, I meant Kevin’s house. He’ll go back there, once we’re all in a good routine.”

“Is that so?” Nicky arches an eyebrow at her.

“Yes,” Madison says, firmly. “We’ve got a custody arrangement all worked out. I told Kevin from the beginning I wasn’t going to let this derail his plans.”

“What plans are those?”

“You know, he wants the big, romantic, Jack-and-Rebecca love story. That whole love at first sight against all odds thing. I don’t believe in that, but if he does, good for him.”

Nicky snorts. “Can you really plan for something like that?” 

“If anybody can, it’s Kevin.”

“I don’t know, I think he’s crazy if he doesn’t see what’s right in front of him.”

Madison is saved from having to come up with a reply to that by wailing on the baby monitor. It’s almost definitely Penny, but Nick will be up in a few seconds now, too. 

“Lemme help,” Nicky says. “Sounds like a two person job.”

When he’d first arrived, Nicky had been awkward and hesitant around the babies, the youngest ones he’d ever held or spent any real amount of time with. Really, Madison would be willing to bet the only other baby he’s been around is Jack. He’s practically a pro now, though, going straight for Nick’s crib and changing his diaper without a second thought. 

“You sure you don’t want to stick around permanently?” Madison laughs. “You do a quicker diaper change than Kevin.”

“Can’t stay forever. I’m sure your family will want to come visit soon.”

“Oh.” Madison says, softly. “No. They won’t. My mom died a couple years ago, and my dad has been out of the picture since I was in college. I have a half-sister but we had a big falling out like five years ago. I was, uh, really sick for a long time. An eating disorder. It was easier for me to cut myself off from everyone than it was to have them always worried about me and angry with me and—

“You don’t have to explain that to me. I understand. I was the same way, until Kevin barged his way into my life,” Nicky rolls his eyes.

“He’s good at that, isn’t he? I mean, I just invited him over for tea one day…”

Nicky snorts. “I don’t buy it, you know.”

“Buy what?”

“You don’t build a whole life with somebody and not live it. I think if Kevin wanted to be somewhere else, he would be.”

* * *

The clock on the nightstand says it’s almost three in the morning, and Madison isn’t sure what woke her. Neither Nick or Penny is crying, and it will be about two more hours before either of them is hungry. She checks her phone, but she has no texts or missed calls. The house is quiet, as it should be in the middle of the night, but she can’t help feeling unsettled.

Downstairs, she finds Kevin in the kitchen, frowning at his laptop.

“Kevin?”

He jumps. “Jesus, Maddie, you scared me.”

“Sorry. What are you doing? It’s three in the morning.”

He leans back in the chair and scrubs a hand over his face, “Shit. Lost track of time.”

“I’m gonna make some toast. Want some?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Madison drops bread in the toaster and pulls out the butter from the fridge. 

“Ron called earlier. Howard,” Kevin says. “Asking a favor.”

“What kind of favor?”

“He’s in the middle of production on a project and somebody had to drop out at the last minute. He asked if I could fill in and sent over the script. I’ve been reading it.”

“Any good?”

“Yeah. I actually almost signed on the first time around but I didn’t when I found out production was supposed to start basically a week after you were due.”

“Seems like a sign you’re supposed to do it.”

“It’s filming in Atlanta.”

“Oh.” The toast pops up, and Madison spreads butter on both slices before dusting them with cinnamon sugar. She passes him one of them, and sits next to him at the table.

“I feel like I owe Ron, you know? He was the first director to take a chance on me after the whole Manny meltdown. But it’s also a super shitty time to leave. I mean, I deliberately chose projects that didn’t start until the twins were a little older.”

“Can’t plan everything.”

“It’d be one thing if Nicky was still here, I’d feel less guilty about leaving you alone—

Madison rolls her eyes, “Kate and Toby live literally fifteen minutes away. When would you start?”

“Ron hoped I could be on set by Monday.”

“As in the day after tomorrow?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

“I mean, I told him we’ve got five-week-olds, he said he can give me until Wednesday, but they’re already working on rearranging the whole schedule so they can get me in and out in a week, it feels like I should try to get there as soon as I can.”

“Wait...you’d be gone a week?”

“I know, it’s a lot—

“Kevin, I thought we were talking about, like, _months._ They need you for a week?”

“Yeah. It’s an ensemble, just a small part.”

“Oh my god, Kevin, you’ve been down here agonizing about a _week_? Tell him you’ll be there Monday.”

“A week is a long time with infants!” Kevin protests. “I don’t want to miss anything.”

“I promise you won’t miss anything except sleepless nights. I can fill you in with excruciating detail on everything else.”

“We all could go,” Kevin suggests half-heartedly.

“Kevin, that’s insane and you know it. We aren’t flying cross-country with two unvaccinated five-week-olds.”

He sighs. “I know, you’re right. It’s just so weird to think about being gone for a night, let alone a whole week.”

Madison opens her mouth to remind him that it’s basically their exact custody agreement, but stops herself. It’s too late at night for that conversation.

“Let’s try to get some sleep,” she says instead. “They’ll be up in about two hours.”

“Yeah,” Kevin agrees. When they reach the stairs he keeps walking, toward the living room, and Madison stops him. 

“It makes my back hurt just thinking about you sleeping on that couch,” she says. “Come upstairs.”

Something like surprise flits across Kevin’s face, but it’s too dark to know for sure. “Yeah, it’s really not a sleeping couch.”

“I was short-sighted when I bought it,” she jokes. “I should’ve known one day my baby daddy would be sleeping on it every night.”

He snorts and follows her up the stairs. She collapses back into bed, and Kevin takes the space next to her. 

“I never knew it was possible to be this tired and still function,” he says.

“Yeah, I know.”

“You sure you’re okay with me going? I really can say no.”

“I’ll be fine.”

When Penny starts crying, it feels like she’s been asleep for minutes. She’s warm and comfortable, and Kevin is curled behind her, one of his arms around her waist and the other underneath her head. It’s a bad idea, but she wants to revel in it, just for a second. He smells so good, which isn’t fair since neither of them has showered in days, and right now it’s easy to pretend that she’s been the person he wants all along. 

Nick’s cries join Penny’s, and Kevin starts. She sits up, like if she moves quickly enough he won’t notice they were spooning. They’ve got their morning routine down to a science now, and it’s only once both the twins are fed and changed and in fresh onesies that Madison realizes how much longer it’s going to take when they’re two single parent households. Her mornings are going to be even more rushed than they used to be, getting herself ready for work and the twins for daycare or the nanny, whatever they end up deciding on. 

“We should start looking at nannies again, when you get back. My maternity leave is almost over, and we said we wanted to get on our regular custody rotation before I start work again,” she says. Kevin is filling the coffee pot, and he doesn’t say anything for so long that she starts to think he fell asleep on his feet.

“Yeah,” he says finally. “I’ll ask Ben to send over some more resumes from that agency.”

“What time is your flight?”

“Ten. I need to go back to my place to pack some things, so I should head out soon,” he looks stricken, and Madison laughs.

“Kevin, you’re not going off to war. You’ll be gone a week. We’ll be fine.”

“What if they forget who I am?” 

“Penny knew who you were before she was even born, Kevin. A week away isn’t going to change that. And you can FaceTime us as much as you want.”

“Yeah?” he says, looking relieved. 

“Of course.”

* * *

Madison wakes to her phone ringing. It’s been a pretty regular occurrence in the four days Kevin’s been gone, except today it’s Kate’s name on the caller ID.

“Kate?” she asks blearily.

“Oh shit, were you asleep? I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, I just dozed off.” She sits up, stretching out the crick in her neck. Kevin is right, this isn’t a sleeping couch. “Been trying to nap when the babies do. What’s up?”

“I’m here. Didn’t want to ring the doorbell.”

“Oh, thanks. I’ll be right there.”

When she opens the door, Kate is there holding two green juices. “Toby took Jack to see his mom. I thought I’d come check in, see how you’re holding up.”

Madison takes her juice from Kate and ushers her into the house. “I’m good. Tired, but that’s nothing new.”

“At the very least Kevin owes you a spa day or something after this.”

“Don’t tell him that. He feels so guilty about going, he’ll channel it into something completely over the top. I don’t want him to send me to a yoga retreat or on a Hawaiian vacation.”

“If he feels so guilty about it, why’d he go at all?” Kate frowns.

“He wasn’t going to go, but I told him he should. We have to get back to normal sooner or later.”

“Sure, but later probably would’ve been fine. You had twins five weeks ago.”

“Kate, it’s fine. Really. I wanted him to go.”

“What do you mean?”

Madison sighs. She doesn’t wish she could take it all back, not now that Penny and Nick are here, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a little inconvenient that her best friend and only person she really can talk to about all of this is also Kevin’s sister. “Can you be my best friend right now and not Kevin’s sister?”

“I can’t be both?”

“I don’t think so. Not for this conversation.”

“Okay.” Kate says, her face going soft with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“I told him he should go do the movie because I needed some space.”

“That sounds pretty normal to me. You’ve just had a huge change in your life. All I wanted once Jack was home from the hospital was a little time to myself.”

Madison shakes her head. “No, not like that. I mean, yes, that sounds good too, but...it was getting too comfortable. Too easy.”

“What was?”

“This whole life! Living together, taking turns getting up at night with the twins, eating breakfast together and family nap time and, Jesus, _spooning_. I needed him to go because the longer he stays the more likely it is I’m going to fall in love with him and I just...can’t.”

Kate’s eyes go wide with surprise. “It’s not really something you can choose not to do, Madison.”

“I have to. It’s going to be hard enough just raising children together, watching him make a family with _my_ kids and someone else.”

“I don’t understand. Why is there someone else?”

“Because of course there’s going to be someone else, Kate! Maybe it will be Sophie or Zoe or someone new, but he wants a great love story and sleeping with a desperate, lonely woman and accidentally getting her pregnant isn’t really the stuff great love stories are made of.”

“Okay, yeah, when you put it like that it doesn’t sound great, but I think there’s another way to look at this.”

“Which is?”

“You’re both happier than I’ve seen...probably ever. And that’s really saying something, because people as sleep deprived as you are should definitely be miserable all the time.”

“Um...okay?”

“As your best friend, I think you have to tell him how you feel. You’re just going to be stuck feeling like this forever if you don’t.”

“And as Kevin’s sister?”

“I will kick his stupid butt all the way back to Pittsburgh if he thinks he can do any better than you.”

“That sounded more like a best friend thing.”

“I told you I can be both.”

* * *

It’s almost midnight when her phone rings, right about when Kevin’s flight is supposed to land. 

“Hey,” she says. “You get in okay?”

“Just waiting for my bags.”

“Stars: they’re just like us,” Madison says, and Kevin huffs a laugh. 

“I know I said I was gonna go straight to my place tonight, but can I come over?”

“Sure. I might fall asleep. Do you have your key?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

Madison does fall asleep, but she wakes to the sound of Kevin’s key in the lock, and his bags landing softly on the entryway floor. She hears him go into the kitchen and the fridge door swing open, and then the telltale sounds of the bread bag rustling and the toaster lever going down. Midnight Toast should be one of their traditions, she thinks. Like Family Nap Time. 

She rolls off the couch and stretches. She goes into the kitchen, where Kevin is standing at the toaster and frowning at the label of the formula canister on the counter.

“Hi,” she says quietly. 

“Hey,” he smiles at her, but he looks tired and it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Can we talk about something?”

“Oh, I was going to talk to you about the formula,” Madison says. “I know we wanted to breastfeed as long as possible, but I started to supplement at night. Dr. Hsu said it was fine, and it’s actually helping Penny sleep.”

“Really?” Kevin grins. “Small miracles, I guess. It’s not about the formula, though.”

“Is something wrong?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Kevin says, and Madison’s heart drops into her stomach. “The idea of going back to my house tonight...I just couldn’t face it. So I thought coming here would be better and it’s not.”

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t be stuck in limbo like this anymore. I know this is what you want, and I’ve been trying to do things your way because I promised I was in, but I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“So what do you want, then?” Madison scowls. “You want to renege on all of it? I gave you every possible out I could six months ago, Kevin.”

“What?” Kevin frowns. “No. That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying?”

“I couldn’t go back to my house tonight because you were here. And our kids are here. Our whole goddamn life is here, but I can’t keep doing this if it’s only going to be part of a life. I thought I could. I thought being their dad and co-parenting with you would be enough for me. Sophie told me this would happen, and I thought she was just being...I don’t know, jealous or something.”

Madison feels her breath hitch in her chest. Sophie would have no reason to be jealous of her. Sophie has _everything_ already. Except…

“I’m doing this so badly,” Kevin groans. “Randall said I should wait until morning.”

“Kevin.”

“I’m in love with you, Maddie, okay? And it’s fine if you don’t feel the same, we’ll figure it out, but I couldn’t be here another second without saying it, because I’ve been trying _not_ to say it for so long.”

“You have?” Madison asks. 

“Yeah. I didn’t think I was hiding it that well. I may be an actor, but I’m not that good.”

Madison thinks about that. She thinks about Egg McMuffins with twelve packets of hot sauce, and how long he must spend folding tiny baby socks together when he does laundry. (She just dumps them in the sock basket unfolded, because who cares if baby socks match?) She thinks about waffles on Saturday mornings and fancy takeout when she’s had a bad week and Kevin staying up all night with Penny so she can sleep. 

“I thought you wanted someone else,” Madison says. It’s surprisingly freeing to admit this secret fear she’s carried for six months. 

“Who?” 

“Nobody specific. Just...something different, I guess. A Great Love Story.”

Kevin’s lips twitch into a smile. “I do. What makes you think this isn’t?”

“It isn’t exactly a tell-your-grandkids-all-about-it kind of story.”

“So? It doesn’t have to be perfect to be great.”

Madison grins. “God, you’re smooth, Pearson.”

“I mean it.”

“I know you do,” she rolls her eyes.

“So, what do you think? What do you want?” he asks, and for the first time since she’s met him, he actually looks _nervous_. 

She wants him here, in her kitchen, making breakfast on Saturdays and never fully closing a cupboard door. She wants his obscene amount of hair and skin products to keep living on her bathroom counter and his flip-flops to stay in their spot by the back door. She wants him in her bed in the middle of the night, when the twins are just asleep again and everything is quiet. She wants him here during busy weekday mornings and lazy weekday evenings, because he’s the only person she wants to talk to when she’s rushed or tired. She wants him here in this life that they’ve built because she can’t imagine a better one. 

“Us,” she says. “Our life.”

The smile that always makes her heart skip spreads across his face. He closes the distance between them in one stride, and she meets him halfway, leaning up to kiss him. They kiss until the toaster pops up, startling them both. 

“Does this mean Buzzfeed was right after all? We’re hashtag relationship goals?” Kevin laughs.

“Shut up,” she says, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him into another kiss.


End file.
